My brother-in-law, his wife and their five kids (nope, not a typo – they have FIVE kids) came to visit for an extended weekend.
I knew we were going to have to keep everyone busy and I was looking up things to do that were either free or incredibly cheap. Because paying admission to get into something for four adults and seven kids could possibly be mistaken for a lengthy hospital-stay bill.
Free and cheap was my plan, man.
I found a website that had a list of five different tourist attractions in our area that were either free or really, really cheap. I did a damn dance I was so happy. I could not wait for my husband to come home so I could tell him about the fun stuff I had found and had planned to do.
Me: “Oh, honey, I found so much fun stuff to do! I cannot wait to take all the kids to these awesome places. They will love it!
He: “So where are you going to take them?”
Me: “Did you know that we can go see dinosaur fossils and petrified dinosaur tracks just minutes from our house? How cool and educational will that be?”
He: “Ummm, yeah, it would be cool, but we can’t go to that. They don’t believe in dinosaurs.”
Me: “Wait. Wha?”
He: “Seriously, they don’t believe in dinosaurs. The Bible talks of creation and they believe in a literal translation of the Bible.”
Me: <long pause> “How could that be? How do they explain dinosaur bones? Fossils?”
He: <sighs> “Government conspiracy. The government planted them there.”
What sh!t have my in-laws taught me this time?
The Bible, creationism, and government conspiracy theories – 1; Common Sense, dinosaurs and fossil fuels – 0.
Seriously, I cannot make this fucking shit up… I am just not that funny.